leaving home to go home...

Well I suppose I should wrap up, and write my final blog about my time in Uganda!

We got the 11 hour overnight coach home from Rwanda and arrived back in Kampala at around 7am. We got our last bodas up to the house and although we wanted to go straight to bed - we knew there was a lot of packing to do!

On Monday evening we were all invited along to LT Warriors for a farewell party. Each LT member said a few words and they asked us to speak too. Anna, Kathryn and I got a certificate and a gift from the guys as we are members of LT. It was so lovely to spend our final evening surrounded by friends and laughter.

After some tearful goodbyes we set off home. Goodbye KBC!

On Tuesday morning we did all of our last minute packing and cleaned our room and bathroom. We got chapattis from our favourite place for dinner and the lounge was full of our closest friends. I was getting a bit nervous so couldn't finish my dinner (which I was really annoyed about because it's SO good). We sat together and prayed and I had little Berindah asleep on my lap. It felt quite surreal, this was my last day in Uganda, where had the past 10 months gone? I looked around the room at all the people who I had worked with and lived alongside. We've shared tears, laughter, problems, chapattis, hugs, jokes, bodas, sodas, bedrooms, tents, shoes and many many memories that I will hold close to me for the rest of my life I'm sure.

The cars arrived to take us to the airport and we all piled in, praying that our bags would be under the weight limit as we didn't have any scales!

We arrived at the airport and it all still felt very weird. All the guys were so helpful in carrying our bags and suitcases down to the main building. Then it was time to say goodbye! Goodbye to Alex, Innocent, Shavan, Olivia, Jacob, Patrick, Bob, Hidiya, Angello, Lorna, Marina, Berindah, Moses, Nic, Brian - all my wonderful friends who had become like family. I just about held it together and then just had to turn around, pick up my bags and walk away. I couldn't drag it out any longer. It was breaking my heart.

Thankfully, our bags were all under the 23kgs we were allowed! We checked in and went through security and had barely sat down in the departure lounge before our seats were called to board the plane. The flight was fine, although I didn't sleep all night! I watched a few films and listened to some music, trying to stop myself from thinking too much about what I had just done. It was only when we came in to land that I cried, seeing England, the fields, the identical rows of houses, the tarmacked motorways with neatly painted lines, it was then that it hit home. I wasn't in Uganda anymore. I looked at Susie sitting next to me and we held hands as the plane descended. We shed a few tears between us, not really knowing how to feel. Of course I was excited to see my friends and family who I had been separated from for such a long time, but at the same time I was so sad that it meant I had to leave Uganda. It was like October all over again, except this time I didn't have a return ticket.

At the airport we were picked up by Barry - our gap year coordinator who works for Smile. It was so great to see him again as he has been so supportive of us over these past months. He took us to stay at a B&B called Manna House, run by a lovely Christian family and OM. Initially, I had been dreading debrief as I thought it would be torture for me to be in England but not with my loved ones. However, it was really helpful. We got to talk to Clive, Ruth and Barry about our experiences and tell them lots of stories about what we had been getting up to. We wanted to encourage them with the work they are doing out in Uganda. It was also a time for me to adjust to England. I'm still not over the fact that I can drink water straight from the tap! We went into the local town a few times which was a bit overwhelming. I sat down at the table in Nando's and nearly burst into tears, but I held it together! The culture, the standard of living, the houses, the way people spend their money, the way people dress, everything is just so different here and I was noticing things that I never would have before. We were walking along roads working out how many of our children from the slum we could accommodate in each house.

Me sulking at debrief because I wanted to be back in Uganda

Friday arrived and we were all sub-consciously clock watching, waiting for 3pm when our parents could pick us up! It was that morning it dawned on us that it was time for us to say goodbye to each other. Seeing us together you would never believe that we met for the first time less than a year ago at our training week. I have been through so much with these guys. Susie, Anna, Kathryn and Jon. We were thrown in the deep end together and I certainly would not have survived without the support of my fellow gappers and a bit of English company! Our team was definitely hand-picked by God. When you look at all of our backgrounds and interests and hobbies, we're totally different, from an Earthly perspective - it never would've worked. But God had other plans and I have no doubt in saying that he brought us together and grew us as a team, up until the very last day. It's weird saying goodbye to someone who you've worked with, lived with, cooked with, slept next to, brushed your teeth next to, traveled with, gone to church with, you name it! I will certainly miss them very much (although I'm sure we'll have a few reunions soon!)

I was sad to say goodbye to my twin :(

So after lunch we were just hanging around, chatting, packing, when up on facebook pops a selfie of my mum and dad entitled "Gracie! We're coming to get you!". Now I'm not sure why, but this freaked me out. I think it was maybe the realisation that I was actually going to see my parents in real life. After 10 months of skype calls and facebook messages, I was actually going to speak to them face to face and be able to hug them. It was all a bit overwhelming and I actually got a bit nervous - which is weird because they're my parents! Jon went in to the kitchen and joked that someone's parents arrived so we all ran to the door. He then said that he was joking but we had actually spotted Anna's parents on the driveway! As we were watching Anna's reunion I saw our family car out of the corner of my eye and my heart starting beating out of my chest. I was suddenly overcome with excitement and I ran out to see them. Mumma Sal ran to meet me first with a 'Welcome Home' balloon. We stood on the pavement and said no words but simply hugged and cried and embraced each other for the first time in what had felt like forever. There's just something special about a cuddle from your Mum, especially when you've been waiting for it for 10 months. Dad came over and joined the hug and we stood there for a few minutes before I asked Dad if he'd gotten taller! I don't really remember much of our conversation after that but I know that as soon as I saw them, the weird nervous feeling that I had felt completely vanished and I felt an overwhelming sense of relief. I can't thank my parents enough for all of their love, support and care.

Back with my mummy and daddy.

It was then time to say goodbye to Kathryn, Anna, Jon and Susie. A few more tears were shed that's for sure. This was probably the most emotional week of my entire life. 

with Anna and Kathryn

Barry and the Gappers

Saying goodbye to Anna

I tell you what this has been an emotional blog to write! Anyway so I got into the car with Mum and Dad and we made our way back to Essex.

The English roads made me feel a tad travel sick as they were too smooth and I wasn't used to it! As we got back into our local area, I got this weird mix of feelings of 'it feels like I've been away for years' and 'I could have been here yesterday'. We got to our road and as we got closer to our house I could see my Grandma standing outside waiting for us! I jumped out of the car and ran over to her - and of course cried again! I had missed her so dearly.

We then turned to face my house and I saw all the flags and the banner that my family had put up! The Ugandan flag was all round the outside of the house and in our neighbour's garden, and there was a banner that said "Welcome Home Grace".

I walked down our driveway and my best friend Hannah ran out of the front door. I wasn't expecting her to be there so it was a lovely surprise. Hannah had just spent 6 months on a gap year in Thailand so she knew how I was feeling. I've been best friends with Hannah, literally since I was born and she was probably one of the people I had missed the most. We ran into each other and couldn't speak for we were both sobbing. We had both been through so much during our times abroad and I think there was just a huge sense of relief that we were together again.

As the evening progressed I was reunited with my Grandparents, who have supported me so much with fundraising and whilst I was out there, and some of my best friends who I have missed so much!

After an absolute emotional roller-coaster of a week, I sat down with my Mum and Dad and watched Top Gear's Uganda special, and then went off to bed.

The next day we had a welcome home party here for me to see everyone again! It was really lovely but at the same time, pretty overwhelming! It's also pretty difficult to come up with an answer when people ask "how was it?" - nothing quite justifies it!

I had an emotional reunion with my Aunty, Uncle, and cousins who I had missed so so much. I see my cousins more as siblings and couldn't believe how tall they'd all grown!

(Prepare yourself for lots of photos of me hugging people)

In our Uganda football shirts

Some of you may be wondering why I've not mentioned my brother. Well he was in holiday in Spain with his girlfriend so I had to wait a few more days to see him. We went to pick him up from the airport and I got all nervous again. When I saw him I ran and hugged him and then started tearing up so I held on tight to George so that the people staring at us wouldn't notice I was crying haha!

Well, there we go! Back in England. Everyday I seem to see someone who I've not seen yet and so lots of hugs have been shared over the past two weeks. Adjusting to life back in England is taking some time. I don't think I'll ever get used to some things and I've certainly come home with a passion for justice.

Going to Uganda changed my life. And I don't say that lightly. I was always interested in the developing world and there was a little flame burning inside of me with the passion for serving the poor and fighting injustice. Now that little flame is a consuming inferno. There's no way I can sit back and enjoy my comfortable English life, ignorant of the world beyond my doorstep. I must go and I must serve and I must follow my Lord Jesus. I have such anger inside of me, but it's righteous anger. It's my duty to speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves and give courage to those who know that there is more to life than how they are currently living. I refuse to watch the world destroy itself. I could talk about this all day, but I will end here.

Lastly, I just want to thank my wonderfully supportive and loving family, for all they have done for me. From the time I decided to go to Uganda up until today they have encouraged me and been there for me. I love you endlessly and would not be the person I am today without you.

Thank you to Smile International for the opportunity to go to Uganda.

Thank you Smile Charity Uganda for the incredible work that you guys are doing out there. God is so clearly working through you and I had the most amazing 9 months working alongside you. You taught me so much. Keep up the good work.

Thank you to everyone I haven't mentioned. There are so many people I have to thank but I don't think the list (or this blog) would ever end. Thank you thank you thank you.

Thank you God. Thank you for sending me to Uganda and surrounding me with your people. Thank you for bringing me safely back to England and I ask that you send me back to Uganda one day.

"Life takes you to unexpected places,

love brings you home."